So I am trying to get into the habit of wa king up early, and not just waking up and going to work which isnt until like 2:00p.m. I feel like I have wasted the day completely if I JUST go to work, and get nothing else accomplished. My hand is doing better though I THINK it will leave a minor scar, which is no biggie to me.
Today will be laundry day since unbenounced to me there is a laundromat right next to me apartment complex. I guess today will also be the day that I unpack my belongings which I got over 2 weeks ago now, but I have been putting off for as long as possible. Today will also prolly be the day I get new contacts, for I only have one in there right now, and looking outta one eye is LUDACRIS, and shitty all the same. O yea ellie may is a shit monster, I never remembered her being such a shit demon before. Actually I am not even mad, i am kinda impressed, A cat who can produce that much shit,,,,whoa!

Anyway I think today will be the most productive day I have had in months.

Well, its kinda nice living with my sister in this apartment. As much as I like to hang outu with mikey and all I aslo like central air, and a nice bed to lay my head on at night. I burned the shit outta myself about a week ago. I was at work, and a lot of the equipment there is not fully operational, and I received a 2nd degree steam burn to the first three fingers on my left hand. It is pretty bad, and I am not sure it will heal properly. I was told that I should have gone to the hospital for sure, but I dont my insurance yet, nor can I afford to miss work at this point so I have been working with this serious shit on my fingers. I have pictures of it, its pretty gnarly. I got the new tool cd, actually now I am stuck with 2 copies of it since I bought one for eka, on her birthday and she already has it. It is very good in my opinion, and wonderful clash of tool and a perfect circle, this cd seems to be the inner workings of maynards mind in conflict of what he wants to put out there. The music itself( the rhythm) is not as aggressive as the last 2 cds put out, but it has its moments.

I finally got my cat ellie back. I missed her so much. Everyday I get home and see her, and am so greatful that she is there, she purs and purs for hours, and never leaves my side unless she is taking a massive shit in her litter box which has been known to happen quite frequently lately. I feel this way about a lot of things missing them that is, but I suppose I will slowly re accumilate things after a while.
I weighed myself today, I seem to have lost 30 pounds in the last 2 months since I last weighed myself. I dont know if this is healthy or not, i suppose I should prolly eat more, and drink less, but thats how I am living right now.

Its really cool that I am having an opportunity to reattach to my friends, got to spend a lot of time with jeremy and mikey lately, even got to see alex a few times, but we are both hermits lately so it is rare for us to hang out.
Well I am about to go to work, with this burnt ass hand. Just thought it has been a while since I wrote

Today I move into my new place with my sister. It is located on 17th street, which as all people know is where teh levee broke last time the hurricane happened, so weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, this should be great. My sister has made me aware that she has a firearm in the house, and I am thinking of gettin one myself, that is all for now.

Today marks the fresh new chance for all things to get better, or worse.
I am going to try to go to work today with a fresh outlook, maybe try to not let any of the normal crap get to me. I wish I could have more of a say so in that place but I cant. Its prolly better that way too, because I already blew on a few employees for their incompitence..I look back now and see it as rather humoring. I just woke up a little bit ago, and yet I get the impression that sleep tonight will be a great thing.

Listening to" Am I Awake" by They might be giants

This is a really good song, I had never heard it before recently, and I thought I had heard all of everything by they might be giants. The only thing wrong with this song is that it isnt long enough, other than that ...stellar. So everything has been going great for me lately I suppose, yea right thats a big lie. Let me rephrase.....there are actually things in my life right now which dont suck. There thats better.
I should be getting yet another place soon enough with my sister.
WOrk is absolutely the most annoying let down down ever as of late. The fact that we are so understaffed is killing all the workers that ARE there.
I think I have made a necassary change in my life as of late, that being a life less ordinary( for me). There is no need to do all the things I use to do. I realize that now, but its sad that it took this crap in my life happening to make me realize that. I guess when it all boils down, There are people in this life who can just make all the difference in the world simply with their presence. There is something comforting in that, and I am glad I can recognize it.
I begin to slowly realize the death, and error of my old ways,,slowly, but NOW I dont only see it I enjoy idea of its demise, and feel comfortable with the unknowing outcome of the new skin I will grow into. I guess I cant change feeling a little childish, and the more I think about it I dont want to. I like Being peter Pan, I just wont be Peter Pan with devil Horns anymore.
I slowly prepare myself for the future, it is amazing that I can actually imagine myself being a part of it. I cant see that far into it, but hey something is better than nothing I suppose. IT was sorta hard to come to terms with the first glimpse of what I have coming up, but hey I am a tough bastard and can handle it.
"Life is short, for me its real short, I live today die tommorrow and have no regrets as long as I learn from yesterday". (new personal quote)

That has never meant quite as much as it does presently.
So where do I go from here, I am not so sure. aside from a place to stay, and a place to lay my head Nothing else is really that detrimental for me to have. I suppose this whole lesson has made me realize the lack of substance in my wants and needs previously, and how to gauge a new outlook on what is important or necassary in life. When it comes down to it, its just BEING ALIVE".
I dont want to die,
I know sometimes I dont want to live either, but I certainly dont want to die. there is far too much for me to embark upon before that happens. I mean shit I am just realizing now that every breath is a small gift. Everything after that is lagniappe, and can be seen as something to learn from. Shit I am sure at some point there were people who didnt understand why we breathe. Now we do, and the progression goes on from there. I just want to know why "I " breathe. so that "I can progress from there. And if I am meant to die before I am ready, I would like to understand that as well.

So ironically I end this with the name of the song I am listening to
Am I awake?

Am I awake?
What time is it?
When I get through this day,
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now?
Am I awake?

The coffee's cold,
Did I forget to drink it yet?
Did I forget?
My clothes are wet
I dont remember drinking it

When I get throught this part,
Will the next one be the same?
Will i be wondering if I'm awake?
These are not the clothes
I had on when I went to bed
And something else besides my hand is grooving from my head
And when I close my eyes it looks the same
As when I opened them again.

Am I awake?
What time is it?
Is it that time again?
Wasnt it already then
So does it has to be that time it was again
When I get through this day,
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now?
Am I awake?

Am I awake?(echo)

When I get thru this day,
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now?
Am I awake?

When I get thru this day,
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now?
Am I awake?